| Your Child's Long Term Adjustment
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Sponsored by: Positive Parenting Through Divorce Class Online (http://onlinedivorceclass.net) Parenting through divorce will have an impact your children’s long-term adjustment depending on the support and security you provide for them. It is the divorcing process that can adversely impact families and particularly children. Our culture has perpetuated the myth that divorce and the resulting process is inherently bad or necessarily unhealthy, but this is not always the case. Whenever possible, set aside time (each day if possible) where you can spend time with children individually. It does not have to be exceptionally long time; however, it should be consistent. It may be only for a few minutes but you will send a strong message to your children that they are a high priority. Do not be afraid to show some emotion around your children. They need to see that their parents feel emotions and are not afraid of them. This will teach them to respect their feelings and not be afraid of expressing them as well. The key here is moderation. You should take advantage of validating and empathizing with your child’s emotions. Let them know that sad, hurt, or angry feelings are OK. This will bring you closer together. Also, show children respect and have respect for their personal opinions and rights. Fostering open communication can be a powerful way of bringing you closer to your children. To facilitate open communication you should first and foremost become a good listener. Listen not only to the words they are saying but also for the emotion or sentiment behind the words. Validate what your children say by asking questions that further your understanding of their thoughts and feelings. Try to avoid asking “why” too often. Although asking “why” is a question, it has a way of putting people on the defensive and feeling they have to justify themselves. Avoid negative forms of communication like criticizing, lecturing, or interrogating. These all work to break down the lines of communication. |