| A Sense Of Balance
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 Sponsored by: Positive Parenting Through Divorce Class Online (http://onlinedivorceclass.net) Parenting through divorce will require a sense of balance between your needs and your children's needs. It is important for parents to realize that sometimes focusing on their own needs is also helping their children. Children, especially young children, will feel a sense of security if they feel their parents are doing alright emotionally. The critical thing to remember is that how you get your needs met is extremely important. Make sure you look for healthy outlets like counseling with a professional therapist, meeting with friends, support groups, or activities that bring you pleasure. If you don't find a way to take care of yourself through the process, you will be more likely to lose track of what your children need as you struggle with your own feelings. If possible, keeping friends, family, school, and other community support systems stable is usually a good idea in most cases. When changes are necessary, make sure you give your children ample notice as to what the changes will be and when they will occur. The more comfortable parents are with such changes the more comfortable their children will be. For example, if you are angry or depressed, you may project these feelings onto your children and assume they are angry or depressed. When this occurs, you are more likely to use your children in an unhealthy way to justify your own feelings. One way parents are tempted to deal with these feelings is to limit the time a child spends with the other parent. This process most often occurs outside a parent's awareness. Simply not saying anything bad about the other parent is not enough. Most kids are perceptive enough to read their parent's non-verbal behavior well enough to know how they are feeling. By getting support for yourself, you are less likely to use the children in unhealthy ways. |